Monday, May 15, 2006

Fill the Rio Grande w/ Crocodiles! 

Well, dang! Who'da thought that if you put a third world country right next door ot the greatest nation in history, that they'd be willing to break the law to get in!

As we all know by now, the Mexican Border is an issue that is bursting with populist anger. Despite years of unions and xenophobes screaming in terror that Mexicans were stealing our jobs, decades of drug proliferation, and the 9/11 Commission telling us that terrorists could easily cross the Mexican border, our political employees (call them leaders at your own peril) have refused to deal with this problem. With no phantom of a Kerry presidency, Bush's Conservative base has found the courage to demand that he make some move to address this problem. Tonight, we'll see if he has a real solution, or whether he'll half-ass this.

Now, securing the border is the easy answer. If we don't, there will eventually be chaos. If a Minuteman gets shot by some Mexican drug-runner, Bush will be impeached. If we suffer a terror attack from some al Qaeda agent who snuck in from the Southern border, I dread to think of the repercussions. Both the United States and Mexico would be changed forever.

The real question, however, is what we're supposed to do with the illegals already here. We cannot just gather 'em all into a truck and ship them back. When Miloschevic did that to the Albanians and Croations, we rightly called it genocide. And the Albanians and Croats were a much bigger threat to the Serbs than the Mexicans are to us.

I believe we need to offer a path to citizenship. The illegals turn themselves in, rat out their employers, and give themselves over to a background check. They pay a fine and have their wages garnished for ten years or so, their employers pay massive fines, and if they aren't felons, we let them stay here for ten years. If they keep their noses clean for that time, we give them their citizenship.

Its not a perfect solution, but if you have a better idea, I'd like to hear it. Wait, no. I probably wouldn't.

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Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Hamas & Bin Laden 

Bin Laden sent out yet another tape. He's upset that the US and EU cut funding to the Hamas-run Palestinian government.

Not too proud, to take our money, eh asshole?

Seems he doesn't only want to wage a war of destruction upon us, but he wants us to bankroll it.

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Friday, April 14, 2006

Gulf War Syndrome 

Whatever happened to Gulf War Syndrome?

After the first Gulf War, the media really hyped up this theoretical disease. Essentially, they implied that Bush '41 sent our soldiers into the den of a bio-weapon-mad dictator, and it F-ed up our soldiers.

Now, apparantly, they must have all gotten better. Ever since the media line changed to "There never were any WMDs, and ignore all the dead kurds, that was Cheney?Rumsfeld..." line, Gulf War Syndrome has vanished entirely.

Any thoughts?

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Wednesday, April 12, 2006

They Should've Ordered at Burger King 

Well, it appears that Duke only sucks with consent.

In case you haven't heard the story, the Duke Lacrosse team was accused, en masse, of gang raping a stripper.

The stripper apparantly entered the Lacrosse house, with one other stripper. No men for protection. At all. Which means, of course, she wasn't with a licensed entertainment company. Which likely means she was not a "stripper" at all.

It is a sick note that society automatically believed the story of the prostitute. Why?

Well, several reasons. First, because rape is so heinous a crime, we do not want to believe that someone would lie about it. Not even a whore.

Second, because deep down, everyone hates jocks and preps. These kids were both.

Personally, I gave the prostitute the benefit of the doubt because such a strong story was laid out. Fingernails were torn out, DNA evidence was supposedly everywhere.

But, it seems that those fingernails were Lee Press-ons, and the DNA didn't belong to any of the kids.

But, the Feminazis and Academic Liberals won't let the case die. The lives of these kids have been ruined, as has the life of their coach, who was forced to resign in shame. Because the word of a whore, proven wrong by DNA evidence, outweighs the actions of a bunch of Ivy League athletes.

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Sunday, April 02, 2006

Time to Change the Time Change 

Daylights Savings Time represents the most idiotic aspect of social engineering. We actually try to trick ourselves into thinking that the sun stays out later in the day, in the hopes that this will somehow boost wartime productivity.

Wartime productivity? Why yes. World War I, to be precise. Much like other useless and harmful programs, such as the Federal Income Tax, idiotic immigration laws, and giving a damn about Europe, Daylights Savings Time is a holdover from the days when Germany actually made decent progress toward world domination. Despite the fact the wars are long over, we still have the Federal Income Tax, we still have troops in Germany and Japan (and y'all whine we've been in Iraq too long?), we still make it near-impossible for immigrants to come here legally, and most importantly, I still lose a goddamn hour of sleep every April.

And I don't want to hear any crap about how I make it up when we return to Standard Time. That's six months apart, and doesn't do me any good now. Certainly doesn't benefit me enough to justify this disruption in my sleep schedule.

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Monday, March 06, 2006

Bush Nuke-u-lars India 

The world didn't stop spinning because of the UAE deal. Life went on, and largely went unreported. One interesting story was how Bush offered India help with their nuclear program.

Now, at first I was a little uneasy about this. Not because I'm afraid India will nuke us, but because during the Cold War, they were largely on the wrong team. As far as I can tell, the Indians refused to be on the same side as the Brits.

However, in many ways, this move in brilliant. As a Russian ally, we can hopefully convince the Russians to give up their Iranian contracts in exchange for Indian ones. In addition, this has potential to go a long way to helping our fuel crisis. The reason that petroleum's prices have skyrocketed is because the demand has been so extravagently increased since China and India have embraced Capitalism. If India can provide energy through non-petroleum ways, the demand may lower to more reasonable levels.

Although, the cynic in me wonders if perhaps maybe this is payback for Pakistan's anti-American rallies last month.

I predict that the Senate will probably kill this, anyway.

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Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Apparently, no one CAIRs 

Ok, this Dubai ports thing won't go away. Liberals will happily embrace anti-Arabism since they believe it will make Bush look bad. Conservatives are trying to prove they are "Independent" of Bush, seemingly unknowing that their re-election campaigns will be tied to him, no matter what they do, short of switching parties. All-and-all, I think Republicans deserve to lose the Congress. Unfortunately, the Democrats don't deserve to win it back.

But I digress. I wondered what the largest Arab/Islamic Rights group, CAIR, had to say about the obviously anti-Arab sentiment on this UAE deal.

Well, according to their web site... absolutely nothing. They are still harping on how evil it is for the Danes to have drawn pictures of their "Prophet."

So, apparantly, one can only assume CAIR doesn't really have any interest in protecting the rights of Arabs who aren't terrorists. Am I wrong?

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