Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Deep Throat 


Couldn't it have been someone interesting? I was hoping for either Pat Buchanan or Henry Kissinger.

Well, not all of life can be as dramatic as I would like it to be, I suppose.

I can see why Woodward and Bernstein kept this dude secret, though. A mysterious "Deep Throat" source is much more likely to bring in readers and reaction than "W. Mark Felt, upper level bureaucrat." One almost has to wonder if the Washington Post would have published the story if Felt was an ordinary whistleblower.

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Sunday, May 29, 2005

Nightline Vs. Doonsbury 

I opened up the comics today to see that Doonsbury decided to publish the names of the dead in Iraq. Which would be notable, if ABC's Nightline hadn't already done a similar thing last year, and hadn't already mentioned plans to do so again this year.

Last year I became angered at reactionary Conservatives who demonized Ted Koppel. You cannot claim to "Support the Troops" when you show hatred toward someone who is using his medium to show his respect.

However, I feel different about Doonsbury. I cannot help thinking that Treaudeau is doing this to spit in the face of the current administration, not because he feels any deep-rooted respect. Ted Koppel is a well respected journalist. Treaudeau is a dubious partisan.
On my last entry, I noted that McCain won the Senatorial pissing contest. Seems I judged too soon. Harry Reid found a second wind, and is using it to piss all over Frist's presidential ambitions, with some of the spray hitting McCain's.

Arguably, Bush is the real winner, however, because he got his judges appointed, and the Democrats have already screwed up the compromise over the inevitable appointment of John Bolton.

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Tuesday, May 24, 2005

The Pissing Contest, McCain did win. Credibility, Dean has NOT! 

I bet you think this blog will be about the Filibuster/Judges issue. Well, it isn't. Something that started out as an important Constitutional issue degraded down to a gigantic political pissing contest, and the worst part about it is, John McCain won.

The original plan was that this blog would be about the "political messages" in the new Star Wars movie, but one of the readers of this blog asked me not to spoil the movie for him. When you can count your readers on a single hand, you probably should honor requests. I will just say that the well-publicized anti-Bush remarks made absolutely no sense in context, and were probably inserted in a cynical-but-effective way to gain monstrous applause in Cannes.

So, I suppose I will speak of Howie Dean's appearance on Meet The Press. I must say, the Democrats need to pool all their resources to keep that man off TV. Never have I seen anyone so willingly walk into Russert's traps. For example:

MR. RUSSERT: But is there room in the Democratic Party for a socialist?

DR. DEAN: Well, a Democratic socialist--all right, we're talking about words here. And
Bernie can call himself anything he wants. He is basically a liberal Democrat...

Now, this is abridged, but it is also sound-bite Gold for the GOP.

Dean also shows the mature, sensitive side of the Democratic with this assessment of Rush Limbaugh and Bill O'Reilly:

DR. DEAN: Here's the point I was trying--as most of these things are taken by the
Republicans, spun around Washington saying this in a one sentence, which I generally
had said. But then they're sort of manipulated around, saying this is the kind of thing
he said. The Rush Limbaugh comment was one that I made about Rush Limbaugh,
and I also said something about Bill O'Reilly. The problem is not that these folks
have problems. They do, and they have problems in the case of a drug addiction.

Bill O'Reilly has a drug problem? This is the first I've heard of it. That, my dear Dr. Dean, comes dangerously close to slander, and O'Reilly is rather trigger-happy with the lawsuits. As for Rush, it seems rather inappropriate for a doctor to mock addiction. It isn't like Rush recreationally uses smack, his addiction was a direct result from a malpracticing doctor allowing him to get addicted to prescription pain-killers, and not treating said addiction.

And, I would be remiss not to point out this slip of tongue:

DR. DEAN: But the thing that really bothered me the most, which the 9-11
Commission said also wasn't true, is the insinuation that the president continues
to make to this day that Osama bin Laden had something to do with supporting
terrorists that attacked the United States. That is false. The 9-11 Commission,
chaired by a Republican, said it was false. Is it wrong to send people to war without
telling them the truth. And the truth was Osama bin Laden was a very bad person
who was doing terrible things, but that Iraq was never a threat to the United States.
That was the truth.

I hope to God he meant to say Saddam Hussein, not Osama bin Laden, if only to protect my own sanity. Regardless, this man heads the troops of lunatics who practically cum themselves with joy every time Bush says "Iran" when he means to say "Iraq," so such an important slip could not be ignored.

And, to increase my credibility and not be guilty of plagiarism and such, here is the link to the transcript of the interview.

And, in closing, let me just say that Saddam is a hottie.

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Tuesday, May 17, 2005


This one hurts, because I've always sort of liked Newsweek and The Washington Post. They are bias, yes, but not in a disgustingly obvious way like CBS or The New York Times. However, this false story they printed about flushing the Koran down the toilet is far worse than anything ever done by a mainstream media outlet before.

I think this theoretically reaches the level of Treason, although much like the Hanoi Jane incident of Vietnam, I think that it is politically wiser not to try to bring up such charges.

Drudge has an exerpt from a press conference earlier today, where the Press aggressively berated Scott McLellan. Now, you need to look at this from the press corp's point of view. Since 9/11, if not earlier, they have honestly believed that the Bush White House has yearned to repeal the Free Speech clause of the First Amendment. With McLellan suggesting to Newsweek that they try to report some positive news, the press seems to be worried that Bush will try to exert influence over them.

Now, this is not the first time that Washington Post/Newsweek has used a single, unconfirmable source for a dangerous story. The Washington Post's greatest claim to fame is unravelling the Watergate Scandal that brought down Richard Nixon's presidency. Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein got their scoop by a mysterious informant known only as Deep Throat. This story brought down a presidency by giving credence to a popular conspiracy theory; one that ultimately proved to be true. However, another conspiracy theory throughout the years is that there was no Deep Throat, that The Washington Post invented Deep Throat to make the administration crack. If this is true, is it possible that the Washington Post Company may have tried the same strategy again, on the only president they've distrusted as much as they distrusted Nixon?

All wackiness aside, this has had powerfully bad consequences. Pakistan, one of our most valuable allies in the War on Terror, was rioting in the streets. This is a Muslim nation with a coup-happy populace and a nuclear arsenal. We cannot afford to poke this bear.

Afghanistan also freaked out. If Democracy in Afghanistan falls, the War on Terror is over, and we have lost.

Even if this story were true, it would be morally reprehensible to report this story. To make it up is beyond treasonous.

To disrespect the Koran like the United States was accused of would have been Sacrilege, and even an infidel like me was deeply offended that we would have done such a thing. To make up such a story is an even greater Sacrilege.

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Thursday, May 12, 2005

Illegal Aliens, and Idiots Go A'Flyin'` 

The issue of illegal aliens doesn't seem to be willing to go away, nor should it.

Illegals are actually staging rallies demanding drivers licenses, and the worst part is, the INS is too F-ing lazy to take advantage! They advertise their rallies in the newspaper, and start screaming that they deserve full rights in the broad public! And the INS? The Border Patrol? They are too useless to do their job even when it falls into their lap. It reminds me of that old Looney Toon where the suicidal mice try to feed themselves to the cat, only to have the cat freak out over their bizarre behavior and run in terror.

Michael Graham, the local Limbaugh clone, tried to attend the rally of illegals in an INS T-Shirt, and was barred entrance because he lacked ID. Then, Montgomery County police arrested him. Well, thats what you get for trying to exercise free speech in Maryland.

And, the supposedly ultra-Conservative Catholic Church has decided to weigh in on the subject, declaring all of us who oppose uncontrolled, undocumented illegal immigration to be, in effect, Satanic Racists. Boy, I'd hate to see the Church if it wasn't run by an intolerant Conservative. In all truth, I think the Catholic Church approves of illegal immigration because the majority of illegal immigrants are Latin Americans, who are Conservative Catholics. They hope to fill their pews, and don't seem to give a damn if some al Qaeda, MS-13 members, or drug smugglers get in as well.

The good news is, Congress has passed the Real ID act, which requires the states to demand two forms of ID before issuing a Drivers License. New York State, of all places, has already gone on record as refusing to do so.
In other news, some jackasses got lost and flew their little plane into the heart of the Washington DC no-fly-zone.

They claim they got lost. But really, how does one NOT recognize Washington? Where else in the world is there a giant fallus pointing up into the sky that can be seen from miles away ON THE GROUND?

Though they were only seconds away from being shot down, the pilots will not face any charges. Apparantly running out on your wedding deserves life imprisonment in the minds of most Americans, but being so much of a dumbass that your dumbassity causes the evacuation of every Federal facility in DC? Not even worth a fine.

Now, imagine this plane had been shot down. Hundreds would have died, possibly thousands, no question. Why? Because he was ALREADY in the DC area! That plane could have hit ground on the Beltway, in Tysons Corner, or countless other monuments to overpopulation that infest this hell-hole I live in.

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Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Wars of Passive-Aggression 

I work in an office where I am the only male.

Let me tell you, I wouldn't have more of a culture shock if I worked with a bunch of South American headhunters.

Women are scary. Why? Because they all hate each other.

Now, I first noticed this in college when one of my roommates let his girlfriend, a member of a sorority, live in our dorm with us. My brother was in a Frat, and he and his Brothers were all the best of friends. I thought the same would logically be true with Sorority Sisters. I was a moron.

Sorority chicks HATE their Sisters! Imagine the way Satan feels about humanity. That is how Sorority chicks feel about other Sorority chicks.

It took me a while to learn that this hatred translates to the workplace. Unlike my Sorority chick roommate, they don't actually verbalize their hatred. They simply give out psychic communiques to each other. They send out subliminal messages, transmitting how much they hate each other, all the time smiling so that the males in the office have no clue whats going on. Until it reaches a dangerous simmer.

Now, apparantly I may have been targeted by these psychic hate waves myself. But, the thing is, I am male, and therefore totally oblivious to subtlety. In order to let a male know that you don't like him, you need to make it explicitly clear. For example, if you punch me in the face, I'll realize you have a problem with me. If you try something lesser, like saying, "Jon, you are a worthless fat fuck, I hope you die you piece of shit," I'd probably consider that a gray area, depending on the context.

Undeniably, the women try to get me involved in this. The fact is, even if I was interested in joining a pointless blood feud, I wouldn't be able to. While they are apparantly contemplating murder, I can only contemplate donuts. When they are all thinking about how the other women plan on betraying them, I can only think about trying to get the Theme to Shaft out of my head.

The conclusion I've come to is one I've come to before. Thank God that I am a male.

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