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Monday, May 15, 2006

Fill the Rio Grande w/ Crocodiles! 

Well, dang! Who'da thought that if you put a third world country right next door ot the greatest nation in history, that they'd be willing to break the law to get in!

As we all know by now, the Mexican Border is an issue that is bursting with populist anger. Despite years of unions and xenophobes screaming in terror that Mexicans were stealing our jobs, decades of drug proliferation, and the 9/11 Commission telling us that terrorists could easily cross the Mexican border, our political employees (call them leaders at your own peril) have refused to deal with this problem. With no phantom of a Kerry presidency, Bush's Conservative base has found the courage to demand that he make some move to address this problem. Tonight, we'll see if he has a real solution, or whether he'll half-ass this.

Now, securing the border is the easy answer. If we don't, there will eventually be chaos. If a Minuteman gets shot by some Mexican drug-runner, Bush will be impeached. If we suffer a terror attack from some al Qaeda agent who snuck in from the Southern border, I dread to think of the repercussions. Both the United States and Mexico would be changed forever.

The real question, however, is what we're supposed to do with the illegals already here. We cannot just gather 'em all into a truck and ship them back. When Miloschevic did that to the Albanians and Croations, we rightly called it genocide. And the Albanians and Croats were a much bigger threat to the Serbs than the Mexicans are to us.

I believe we need to offer a path to citizenship. The illegals turn themselves in, rat out their employers, and give themselves over to a background check. They pay a fine and have their wages garnished for ten years or so, their employers pay massive fines, and if they aren't felons, we let them stay here for ten years. If they keep their noses clean for that time, we give them their citizenship.

Its not a perfect solution, but if you have a better idea, I'd like to hear it. Wait, no. I probably wouldn't.

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